To My Sister, Renee, On Her 29th Birthday:
I recently watched a movie titled “Waiting for Superman” on the public education system making up our country. I was angry, upset, and anxious with the unfairness of it all. Of life in general. Kids and their parents actually wanting more than anything to be given the opportunity to go to a good school so that they could have a chance. Wanting what they weren’t born capable of buying, but deserving of it nonetheless.The conversation that ensued over dinner afterward was all over the place. But there’s one part of it that stuck in regards to you. It had to do with privilege. Being in the right place at the right time, having your ticket called (or not called depending on how you look at it), being born with certain inarguable fortunes. Hitting the jackpot. The unfairness of life….
Luck.
I’m sure you know where this is going. What really strikes me when I’m forced to slow down and contemplate your life (on this your birthday), is that, selfishly, I really did win the lottery with you. How many other 27 year old girls living in a big scary city full of superficial parties and perfectly poised people have sisters to call on to remind them about what life is about. What “funny” actually sounds like (a two year old learning to potty train), what “love” feels like (a difficult phone call discussing a sensitive topic we didn’t see eye-to-eye on but listened to each other anyway). Someone who knew you when you were into Bone Thugs and Harmony. When you had braces. When you wanted to play professional basketball. When you crashed a car and went around screaming “I hate you” to the people you loved the most, and even permed your bangs (!) thinking you were so cool. You stuck around. Which is, like, unbelievable all things considered.
That’s perhaps, my greatest fortune. Having a contemporary who will love me no matter what. Or maybe it’s having someone to ask questions to that I don’t feel comfortable asking anyone else, having someone that is brave and strong and has gotten through things like childbirth (3 times over) to remind me that I really haven’t done that much yet, that these problems I think are problems will pass, that I am, if not anything else, cared for.
I feel so fortunate to know that if the karma of my fortunes ever catches up to me and I actually don’t escape death, I stop catching breaks, or a real problem comes up…you will be there.
My Jackpot.
